Daniele Visit to NJ

The last part of Daniele's visit was almost two weeks staying around NJ. Last time we did not spend much time here and I wanted him to see more if we might move here someday.

Wednesday.

Our redeye from San Diego got in to Philadelphia Wednesday morning. This day was just meant to be a recovery and unpacking. I also planned to help my mom prepare for Thanksgiving. I committed Daniele and myself to making the now traditional “leaf cookies”. My mom was cooking for my dad's whole extended family which can be anywhere from 40 to 60 people, and since many don't reply to her invite she is normally cooking for almost that wide of a range. She makes all the traditional turkey fair with stuffing and cranberry, as well as sides including yams, mashed potatoes, her own hand-made bread, and two salads. She also makes Italian dishes: baked stuffed shells and meat balls. We start with a large antipasto course served from when the first guest arrives until we serve dinner, as well as the usual chips and dips and all sorts or drinks.

(Leaf cookies from last year, I don't know if I took a picture this year)

(Daniele with the antipasto we served Thursday)

My mother starts way in advance planning and preparing, but as you can imagine she is very busy the day before cooking what can be prepared in advance (most of it). So imagine what it was like when our power went out on Wednesday afternoon. And then stayed out.

Our power was out for hours, despite there being no storm or any sign of what would cause an outage. Eventually I convinced my dad to make some calls. What if it doesn't come back? No one else can do Thanksgiving on such short notice, and if we don't host it, all this food will go bad. He called up a buddy of his who had just bought a brand new generator (he had been one of those effected by the outages during the October snow storm and hurricanes that came through NJ this Fall). My parents went to pick it up late, when the friend got back home. They got back around 11pm and our power came back on at midnight. All that for nothing, but better safe than no Thanksgiving!

Thursday.

Daniele and I had waited to tell anyone about our engagement until today when we planed to tell everyone together. Daniele was meeting most of my family for the first time today, so it seemed nicer to do it this way rather than me tell everyone alone that I plan on marrying that guy I've been dating that they still haven't met. Also we could tell everyone at once and then everyone knows, rather than gradually all finding out from the grape vines. We were basically using the holiday for an old fashion engagement party. The revealing happy news and celebrating together type, rather than the having a party to celebrate another party type.

I told my grandmother first because I knew she would be annoyed at being kept in the dark this long, I could at least give her that. She was all excited. As family members arrived I hung around by the door and introduced Daniele to them as my fiance. Also I was wearing my ring for the first time to a family event. But I guess Grandma was expecting it more or is just generally more quick on the uptake than my Aunts and Uncles because they just gave a “nice to meet you” and moved on to the food. No one noticed anything until dessert when my Aunt Morreen finally noticed the sparkle and the gig was up. The news quickly spread throughout the house and the congratulations followed. Apparently my grandma had been dieing all day that no one was noticing and kept trying to prod her other two children into looking at me better. Special mention for Vivian, my cousin Marc's fiancee, who actually did notice and asked Marc if I was engaged earlier in the night and was told no. I feel a little bad about not letting Marc in on it, especially since he told me before he proposed (actually he told everyone he knew), but I couldn't be sure he wouldn't tell his sister, who would tell her mom, would would tell her sisters, and so forth.

My Aunt Linda pulls a double hitter on Turkey Day, eating first with us then dessert with our cousins on my mom's side. I told her to let that side of the family all know so now everyone found out today.

(My mom with the turkey)

(These guys are adorable)

(You can't see there is actually much more on the buffet table to the right)

Friday.

Daniele and I planned to do some Black Friday shopping, but we weren't very serious about it. We woke up at a reasonable hour and went to the Garden State Plaza where the door busters were all over and only other casual shoppers like us lingered. The sales were not anything impressive, maybe early in the morning they were. I'm going to take the hipster approach here and say Black Friday just isn't as good since it became mainstream.

We had been invited to dinner at my Aunt Terry's house. I was really hoping we would have a chance to also see my mom's side of the family, and they were all coming over my Aunt's for a Turkey Day leftover dinner and to wish my cousin Donnie, Uncle Greg, Uncle Harry, and Aunt Linda all happy birthday.

(4-way birthday)

Dinner was really great. It was a little less hectic than the day before (or even other holidays with this side). I also think Daniele fell in better with the Italian relatives.

Saturday.

Saturday we had what my family calls “Second Thanksgiving”. (Didn't we just do that yesterday? No, didn't count.) Second Thanksgiving my Uncle Larry cooks another whole Thanksgiving dinner, this time for closer to ten of us, and we celebrate my Aunt Linda's birthday. Unlike the first time around, this is a sit down meal served in courses. While my mother puts everything on buffet trays and lets people take what they want; my uncle, on the other hand, fills your plate over and over again; then asks-- don't you want seconds? I used to be saved by skipping the actual turkey, then he started making a bigger pasta course; a few times he has made me my own pizza. Then we have dessert where often there are as many pies as people.

I end up eating more at Second Thanksgiving than actual Thanksgiving. Luckily my Uncle Larry is a very good cook, especially when making recipes he's made before.

(Look at the perfect meringue!)

Sunday.

While we were having dinner Saturday we were getting text message updates about my cousin Corrine, who had been due to deliver her baby. She gave birth to a baby girl, Cella, that night.

Sunday morning Daniele, my mom, and I went to the hospital to visit the proud new parents and little girl. While we were there Lori, Tim, and Kayla came by as well as my Aunt Linda. It's always nice to see them. Corrine was so cute, not only did she text us all announcing her own labor, she had favors she handed out to all of us baby visitors. Amazing!

(Sisters)

That afternoon Daniele and I met up with Lisa. We went to Cheeburger Cheeburger, which is one of Lisa's favorites and I knew Daniele would love the “American” food.

After we went back to her and Brian's place and played some kinect. I had actually never played one. It was really fun!

Monday.

We went to the Spruce Run Reservoir, very close to my parent's house, to show off some of the natural beauty here in NJ. It's a nice park with paths, a big lake/reservoir, camp and picnic sites. Plus there are always a lot of deer running around.

(Daniele and Kait in Spruce Run State Park)

(Spruce Run State Park, Union Township, New Jersey)

In the evening we went to Verona to join in on Marc and Vivian's regular poker game. My other cousins John and Robby and my Uncle Rob were there too. It was a good time. Daniele liked Verona, so that's a bonus.

Tuesday.

We spend all day Tuesday doing work research for Daniele. He has a masters degree in Emergency Care and 6 years experience and an ER Nurse. I had truly believed that as an experienced Emergency Room Nurse, one of the most in demand jobs in the US, he would be able to get a Working Visa. Apparently I was completely wrong.

Following my Aunt's advice, we concentrated on the larger medical centers. I called various people in HR and ER Nursing departments. The nurses typically didn't answer, the HR women were some of the hugest bitches I have ever talked to in my 26 years. The nicest women I talked to told me straight up that they used to issue working visas, but they are not right now and she doesn't know if that will change. The most horrible and cruel women I spoke to throughout the day was a human resources employee in the Nursing Department of Newark Beth Israel Medical Center. This is a very large hospital. To quote them, “[w]ith more than 800 physicians, 3,200 employees and 150 volunteers, the Medical Center has over 300,000 outpatient visits and 25,000 admissions annually”. I asked her if she could tell me anything about the process of foreign trained nurses coming to work at Beth Israel and she insisted there were none. I pressed this because it seems downright impossible that such a large employer could fill its workforce 100% with natural born US citizens. Maybe in a land-locked state, but NJ is rather diverse. Personally, I have never had a job where I have not worked with some foreign born and/or trained coworkers since I was an assistant dance teacher in high school at a single instructor studio. This woman insisted she had never met a nurse who was foreign, and was not nice about it. Is that consistent with anyone's anecdotal experience? I've found *most* nurses I encounter are foreign.

Based on these calls, it seems Daniele can not work in the US without being a citizen, so it seems we can not live here until we are married and have started that process. There have been a few suggestions that we get “married” quickly now and have the wedding we want later. I hate this idea and think it is contrary to what a wedding should symbolize-- the celebration of the beginning of a marriage, rather than a big party where two people justify putting themselves in debt and demanding to be the center of attention. If we were already married, that is really all we would doing (and it would be much harder for me to justify the attention I expect that day *grin*). The mere fact that this seems like a viable option reflects poorly on the state of American marriage and citizenship.

Wednesday.

Today they lit the Rockafeller Christmas Tree. Daniele and I went into the city to check it out. We first went to Rockefeller Center to check out the stage and tree. There wasn't anything going on, so we went to do other things.

(Stage for the tree lighting show)

We did some midtown Christmas time stuff, like the Macy's window displays and the tree in Bryant Park.

(I made this in a Macy's window!)

(Daniele in front of the Bryant Park NYC Christmas Tree)

(Macy's Christmas window display)

(Daniele in Times Square)

Daniele wanted to check out this neighborhood in Brooklyn, Bensonhurst. It has a very dense population of Italians. I didn't believe it would be anything special, lit any Italian neighborhood. But in fact there was a lot of Italian writing and people speaking Italian that seemed to have been born there.

We got back to the Rockafeller area only an hour before the show was supposed to start. However we did have the slight advantage of having scouted out the area in the morning. The police had set up those barriers to control pedestrian traffic. They corralled us considerably around the square and forced us to enter from another side. Unfortunately they were either just messing with the tourists or genuinely not talking to each other because one cop forced us all one way, across a street. Then the cop there just said “I don't know why they are sending you all here, you have to go that way”, that way was back around and though the line a second time. We did it again, and then it was pretty open and we filled in shoulder to shoulder with the other spectators. Thank goodness they were all really nice and joking about being squished in there. Sometimes when people are pushing me I just can't stand it, but everyone was nice. Packing in tight, but not trying to push ahead of each other. We were about 15 feet from the corner of one of the buildings on the square. That building blocked our view of the stage, that would have been facing us if we were just a little more ahead. We could hear the music and there was a big screen across from us where we could see the show. So we just watched the show on a screen anyway, but it was an experience. When the show was over we were able to get into the square and take some pictures. There were people waiting to get in that had been much worse off than us. Over all the whole experience was much better than I imagined.

(Kait and Daniele in front of NY Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree just after it was lit)

Worth noting, the crowd was probably a bit smaller because Justin Beiber wasn't there. He was supposed to perform live, however the president ended up being in NYC that day. And apparently the city can't handle both Obama and the Beibs on the same day. The Obama traffic made it impossible for Beiber to logistically make his performance, so he prerecorded it. Better for us!

(Kait and Daniele in front of NY Christmas decorations)

Thursday.

We hit up another park near my parent's, the Round Valley Recreation Area. This one is a bit bigger, but I actually like Spruce Run better. We did some of the hikes and enjoyed the views before moving on.

(Round Valley Reservoir, Lebanon, NJ)

In the afternoon we walked around Somerville. It's a really cute town with restaurants and shops on the main street and Victorian houses going off of it. They have a train station, too. If I was going to live in the burbs, this would be a good choice.

(Somerville, NJ)

Friday.

When Daniele first arrived and we walked around Hoboken and Jersey City he really wanted to see Liberty State Park, the park in Jersey City opposite Liberty Island. Unfortunately we quickly realized that was unrealistic for the time we had and made plans to come back this week when we had more time.

Later had the even better idea to take bikes with us. This turned out to be very smart because Liberty State Park is actually pretty big.

We packed some sandwiches, wrapped up with layers (it was a cold day) and drove into the park.

The park has nice paths for pedestrians or bikes. We rode through all of it, saw New York City, Lady Liberty (her back side), and some of the other attractions. There was even a couple taking wedding photos.

(Daniele in Liberty State Park, Jersey City, NJ)

(Liberty State Park, Jersey City, NJ)

(View of NYC from Liberty State Park, Jersey City, NJ)

(Views of Jersey City, New York City, and Statue of Liberty from Liberty State Park)

(View of Statue of Liberty from Liberty State Park, Jersey City, NJ)

(View of New York City from Jersey City)

Saturday.

Saturday we all went to the birthday party my cousin Michelle threw for her daughter.

Sunday.

This was our last full day. Daniele had wanted to see Easton, the first town over the Pennsylvania border. He seems to like PA. Ehh. We walked around there, it was kinda sad and desolate. A lot of empty stores. We went through Phillipsburg on our way back to New Jersey.

We also made plans to have dinner and catch up with Fabienne, who had visited us in Italy in the summer.

Monday.

Daniele flew back to Rome. I would see him again in January.

Photos from the NJ part of Daniele's visit are here:
https://picasaweb.google.com/111221349198606775660/20111108DanieleVisit

San Diego with Daniele

Daniele and I finished our California Coast Trip with four days in San Diego. He had been here before for a two week nursing exchange, but I never had. We were here Saturday November 18 through Tuesday the 21st.

Saturday.

We arrived in San Diego pretty early, our first stop was Mission Beach. It started to rain a little bit, but we walked around and enjoyed the views anyway. There were women setting up support tents for one of those big breast cancer walks, but we didn't see any runners/walkers yet.

(Mission Beach with some rain)

Our next stop was Sunset Cliffs, which are very pretty! At this point the rain stopped, but we found the ladies in pink walking and running for breast cancer awareness. I of course think that is amazing, but disturbances make Daniele a bit nervous.

(Kait at Mission Cliffs. Can you tell I woke up early?)

Next we went to Cabrillo National Park were we saw the Cabrillo National Monument, a beautiful view of the city and a light house.

(Daniele and Kait by the Cabrillo National Monument with downtown San Diego in the background)

At this point we could go to our hotel, which was right by Old Town, so we went there. Old Town San Diego is both a neighborhood and a State Park. It commemorates the early days of the town of San Diego and includes many 19th century buildings. We started off with lunch at Casa da Guadalajara, which I thought was pretty good, Daniele thought it was a bit touristy. We walked through the mini-town and some open buildings. Including Casa De Estudillo, where it seemed to be some type of special day and there were people in period costume, many doing hand crafts, like spinning yarn.

(Girls dancing “Baile Folklorico” in Old Town)

(Women spinning yarn in Casa De Estudillo in Old Town)

In the afternoon we went to the Gas lamp district. We saw Market, Broadway, and the Waterfront where there were old ships and there was a sailboat race going on, America's Cup World Series it seemed. We hit up a happy hour special at a place called Current for dinner, it was really delicious.

(The Maritime Museum of San Diego)

Sunday.

We gave all of Sunday for seeing Balboa Park. We knew there were free Ranger tours, but they changed the time to later in the day, so after we checked up on that we saw a bit on our own first. We saw the Lilly Pond (reflecting pool), the Botanical Building, The Moreton Bay Fig Tree (really, really, huge old fig tree), the Zoro Garden, an open market in the SD Theater, and the Butterfly Garden.

(Lily Pond in Balboa Park)

(Lilly Pond and Botanical Building in Balboa Park)

(In the Botanical Building in Balboa Park)

(Moreton Bay Fig tree in Balboa Park. Planted in 1914, it now has a girth of 42 feet, a height of 80 feet and a canopy of 145 feet.)

(Butterfly Garden in Balboa Park)

After we saw all of that, Daniele wanted to skip the Ranger tour, but I'm so glad we didn't! We saw so much more, and what we covered again, we actually learned about this time. Our ranger was the best possible guide for the park, not only did he know the park inside and out, it was his life, he cared so much about these plants and buildings that it made every thing he said interesting.

He told us a little about the history of the Old Globe Theater. It was built in 1934 as a copy of the one in Chicago, which in turn was a copy of the Old Globe in London. He also pointed out the more interesting a rare plants as we walked around (I'll save most of them for Picasa). He told us that most of the creatures swimming in the Lilly Pond, including the dozen or so turtles I saw, are not supposed to be there and are all dumped pets. Besides some of the places we had already been, we also saw the Alcazar Garden, which had an English Garden design, and the Japanese Friendship Garden, which is undergoing heavy expansion at the moment.

(Coffee Plant in Botanical Building in Balboa Park)

(Alcazar Garden in Balboa Park)

(Japanese Friendship Garden)

Most of the buildings in Balboa Park were quickly constructed for the two World Expos held in San Diego in 1915 and 1935. These Expos were almost like World Fairs and hoped to attract some of the attendees of the larger Fairs. Some of the buildings are lovely originals. Many more were build at the time to be temporary buildings and ended up beings used way past their intended longevity. At some point the city had to carefully renovate what are now historic buildings, that were made from materials never meant to last. The project is now almost done and looks great.

(California Tower, Museum of Man, and and Old Globe Theatre in Balboa Park)

(Daniele on El Prado in Balboa Park)

After our Ranger Tour we wondered around the park a little more. We first found the “International Cottages” which are a series of little houses each representing a different nation. Lucky for us, on Sundays they all open their doors and offer regional goodies; we didn't even need lunch! After we went to the 1935 Cactus Garden, which was really cool! Balboa Park has like the world's biggest cactus collection (don't quote me on that! I think the ranger might have said it). We also went to the Rose Garden-Inez Grant Parker Memorial, which I think would be a very nice place to stay and read or have a picnic lunch. We found the Desert Garden after that . I'm not sure why this is different from the Cactus Garden, but I liked it better. At this point we had seen all the gardens we wanted to see, but as we were leaving we heard some organ music playing so we headed to the Spreckles Organ Pavilion (the Ranger told us a little about it earlier) and sat in on a few numbers. The ranger had also told us that all the Museums in the park are free today. Opening hours overlapped with daylight hours and it wasn't exactly what we were looking to do, but it was too good to pass up so we hit up the SD Museum of Art real quick before they closed. Probably too quickly, because I don't remember much of it.

(House of Pacific Relations / International Cottages in Balboa Park)

(Inside the House of Ireland in the House of Pacific Relations / International Cottages in Balboa Park)

(1935 Cactus Garden in Balboa Park)

(Rose Garden-Inez Grant Parker Memorial in Balboa Park.)

(Kait in the Desert Garden in Balboa Park)

Monday.

Daniele really, really wanted to go to Tijuana. He pointed out how close it was. I wasn't exactly thrilled, heard Tijuana was kinda a dump, but I had never been to Mexico. I've been to Canada, Italy, the City of the Vatican, Spain, France, Great Britain, Switzerland, Northern Ireland, the Republic of Ireland, Austria, Germany, and Costa Rica; but never Mexico. Who doesn't want to cross a boarder and add one to their nation count when it's just 15 minutes away? He had already been to Mexico on a vacation a few years ago, so I don't know why he wanted it so bad. I generally get my way whenever I want it, so I try to give Daniele little things. So we went to Mexico.

It was in fact a very short drive down. Even the large boarder control on the highway between San Diego and Tijuana just waves you in when you go south. As soon as we crossed the boarder and for miles after, we saw the traffic the other way to come back to the United States. Being optimistic (and delusional) we figured people must live in Tijuana, where it is cheaper, and work in SD, where there is more money, and we are looking at morning rush hour traffic that will clear up.

Also as soon as we crossed the boarder, my phone stopped working. That is when I started to be unhappy. Trusting Daniele to navigate lasted for about 90 seconds before I accepted roaming charges. Then we didn't even know where we were going, but we found something like the historic center and I found another car with CA license plates to park behind. But then, wtf?! There are three men swinging hammers on the sidewalk outside my window. Is this a thing? It takes me a minute before realizing they are just bored shoe cobblers. But we need to pay the parking meter, I don't have any pesos! This was so incredibly poorly planned. Just because we are 15 minutes from the US doesn't mean anything. This isn't Europe for goodness sake!

The parking meter, and everyone we met that day took US Dollars, so at least there was that.

Daniele and I walked around the area. We didn't see any other Americans and we only spoke Italian, both to each other and to any Mexicans we met, who if asked we said we were Italian. Speaking Italian to native Spanish speakers is how we got around Costa Rica it actually works pretty good for getting a basic point across.

The people we passed were staring at us/me so much I felt incredibly uncomfortable. This was worse when we went away from the more crowded main square area or when I took out my big ol' “I'm not from around here” DSLR camera.

We did a decent little walk. We started by Parque Teniente Guerrero, walked to the biggest church we saw at Benito Juarez y/o Segunda & Av C. This area was pretty crowded. We walked down Santiago Arguello, where there were lots of restaurants, each with a guy outside desperately trying to get us to eat there. We crossed over a pretty dry river bed, where you could see gypsies (are they still gypsies if they are Mexican?) camping out on the river bed from the bridge. On the other side of the river the town felt even worse. Things were newer over here, but cheaper, and abandoned. Like maybe the city had expanded quickly or undergone a gentrification project that didn't have the underlying economy to support it. I don't know enough this city to say.

(Church in Tijuana, Mexico at Benito Juarez y/o Segunda & Av C)

(Men trying to get us to eat at their restaurants on Santiago Arguello Tijuana, Mexico)

(Gypsies living on the dry river bed.)

(Across the River)

At this point I fully made up my mind that I didn't like it here and I wanted to go back to the United States. We had lunch at a place that probably would not have met health codes in the US, but that's what Daniele likes-- more rustic somehow implies better, more authentic food.

We then found the car and headed back. Only this time we couldn't just drive through. We waited for hours in the line to reenter the US. On the highway, between cars, people weave about trying to sell everything you can imagine. Everything. Water bottles, churros, Statues of the Holy Virgin, blankets, ice cream, you name it. Some of them have freaking huge carts that are almost impossible not to hit while avoiding the children juggling for tips on your other side.

When we finally reached the end, the man at boarder control, who I couldn't tell if he was representing the US or Mexico just asked me all these weird questions about if I liked Tijuana/Mexico and I would consider leaving Daniele. It was completely random and a bit inappropriate. Definitely wasting the time of everyone in line behind me.

With what was left of our day we went to Imperial Beach and them Coronado Island (the little island in the center of San Diego).

(Imperial Beach)

(Daniele and Kait in front of downtown San Diego on Coronado Island)

That evening we met up with my cousin David who lives out here. I got to be the second family member after his mom, to see his apartment. Then we got some pizza at a pretty good place. In his neighborhood. He lives up in Northpark (north of the park), it's a hip area with lots of bars and restaurants.

He also filled me in on why we were one only "gringos" in Tijuana. What is more common knowledge if you live close to the boarder (or are just better informed than I am) is that the US's drug war in Columbia has driven a lot of drug traffic to Mexico. It is a poor country with the drug business one of the few ways to make a living, making it very dangerous. I had heard about problems with kidnapping in Mexico years ago, but not recently. And when I expressed concern earlier to Daniele, his view was that these would not be problems right by the boarder. Dave let us know we were both wrong, it is still a huge problem, and ESPECIALLY near the boarder. He used to go to Tijuana to see a doctor if he needed (between insurance providers), but now no one does that anymore, it's just not worth it.

Tuesday.

We wanted to go to either the Zoo or Sea World while we were in San Diego. I was leaning towards the Zoo since I know the one here is so famous, Daniele wanted Sea World since as he said “we have a Zoo in Rome”. I won since the prices for the Zoo or Safari Park are $42 each, while Sea World is $73 each. We chose the regular Zoo over the Safari Park because the Safari is like 40 minutes North and we were flying out this same night.

It was a great choice in the end because the San Diego Zoo is AMAZING! Even Daniele loved it. Besides the fact that it is huge, the climate allows them to keep basically any type of animal. It was mostly families, but we were not the only grownups there without kids. However being there without kids we were able to get there at opening, see every last exhibit, and just have time to take the sky tram to the end and back before they were shoeing everyone out the doors for closing. I loved it so much! I took a million pictures, 137 of which are online, separate from the rest of my SD photos because I know not everyone is into that.

(OK, just one picture! I can't resist! The rest are here.)

My cousin Dave was able to meet up with us again for an earlier dinner before we had to get to the airport. We had some yummy west coast Thai food one last time before I said good bye to my cousin and California. Then we got on our redeye full of good memories and Happy Thanksgiving wishes from Dave for the rest of the family.

All of the pictures I took in San Diego and Tijuana are here:
https://picasaweb.google.com/111221349198606775660/20111118CACoastSD

The pictures from the San Diego Zoo are here:
https://picasaweb.google.com/111221349198606775660/20111121CACoastSDZoo